S456 ARCHIVES: Batman, Batman, Batman - Fiction - Creative Writing

originally posted on station456.tumblr.com on May 9th, 2012

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Batman #9 is clearly all that I can think about.

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The first day was my daughter Barbara’s birthday. It was Monday. She turned three. She said her first word; Batman. The apple hasn’t fallen too far from the tree after all. I’m a big Batman freak. I have a room in our house devoted to Batman. I have a Batman costume. I read every new series that Batman is in. My wife was very proud to hear that two-syllable proper noun come from her daughter’s mouth. She loves Batman just like I do.

This serves as a rather helpful transition to what happened on the next day. It was Tuesday.

I kind of, sort of, possibly received my copy of Detective Comics #27. Yes. Batman’s first ever appearance, for those of you that don’t breathe out of your mouth in a fort of comics and video games and Dungeons and Dragon manuals like folks of my ilk do. Ebay is every collector’s best friend. As an avid Batman collector, I spend more time on eBay scouting out good deals on Bat-Books than most people spend breathing. And I scouted a Buy It Now for Detective Comics #27 and pounced. Why did I pounce on a Buy It Now for such an incredibly rare, sought-after comic? Let’s just say that the seller had no idea how valuable those stapled pieces of paper are. I won this book for ninety-nine cents, folks. This book is my prized position. I felt as though I almost had to force myself to say that I cherish my wife and daughter more than this nerd book when I got my hands on it.

Telling this story is a rather easy job. Because this actually works as a good transition to what happened on the next day. The next day involves Batman. It also involves my daughter Barbara, again.

On Wednesday, she asked me the most peculiar question.

“Who he?”

What do I see when I turn around to amuse my daughter’s strange question? I see a Court of Owls assassin. Batman’s latest foes are the Court of Owls. A group of assassins that have been in Gotham since before Bruce Wayne was even born.

“Dammit! I’ve been caught!” the assassin yelled when I looked at him. And then he ran.

And then my eyes filled with furious, uncontrollable rage. That man was holding my Detective Comics #27.

Unable to lower the temperatures below zero degrees like Batman did, I tackled the assassin and reclaimed my comic book.

But then he took out a knife and stabbed me in my leg. I let out a cry and called for Alfred. And then my dad showed up and took all of my comic books and pawned them. And then my daughter swore to avenge me.

And then I woke up from my crazy dream.

Heh, I’d never have a kid. I thought. My wife was pretty smokin’ in that dream though. I continued to think about the issue of Batman I had read earlier that day.